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  • “Listen, the 90s are gonna make the 60s look like the 50s.” -JR
  • Merlin saved a shirt with a bleach stain with a Sharpie. That’s a life hack.
  • Now when John wears a motorcycle jacket, it just looks like a dad in a motorcycle day. 
  • The eBay store lost all of John’s pictures. 
  • “Hey, wouldn’t you like to update your OS to El Capitan?” -John’s new computer. 
    • Usually a mixed bag. 
    • The answer to this question has become a little more complicated. 
  • John’s old laptop was stolen in Chile. This was the laptop they were buying in the show art. 
    • “Pull over the RV before we get to the mountains.” -MM
    • "Different partner, same problem.” -JR
  • John may need an Etsy store more than an eBay store. 
  • The voice of Mike Tyson and the voice of Merlin’s pants. 
  • The British think that snotty is real. 
    • Europe hates America because we don’t hate ourselves enough. 
    • “They’ve all got Kierkegaard in their water.” -JR
    • Russell Brand
  • Katie Perry and Zooey Deschanel 
  • ~53:00- Crows
    • “I have become now, a place for people to send things about crows.” -JR
      • “I think the presumption is that there is stuff about crows happening on the internet that I haven’t already seen. If it’s about crows, and it’s on the internet, oh I’ve seen it.” -JR
        • “Well, if anybody has a link, make sure they send it to John.” -MM
    • Crows and their meth. 
      • They’re paranoid, and they’re always tripping on you. 
      • John has a Google Alert for crows.
  • ~58:00- John likes a transcript. 
    • “For a long time, I was hoping people would transcribe them, because I do like reading our program.” -JR
      • “That’s like someone sending you a transcript of sexual intercourse. You might get all the facts right, but you’re kinda missing the feeling.” -MM
    • Reading show transcripts is like reading reviews of movies they’ll never see. 
  • 1:06:00- A very hippy experience. 
    • John was snorkeling in Hawai’i. He’s a little bit of a panicky snorkeler. 
      • “I’m very much accustomed to breathing air. And I like to breathe air, and I don’t like to breathe water.” -JR
    • “Pulled out by the under-toad.” -JR
    • There's a giant tortoise. There’s whale singing. 
      • “What are you doing, guy?” -JR
      • “By choice, he flies directly underneath me.” -JR
      • “Is he going to nibble on my peanuts? What’s his plan?” -JR
      • The tortoise flies John back over, into to the reef. The panic is gone. He’s handed off to another tortoise. 
    • “Here's a guy trying to master his domain. He’s making it. He survived it…We’re not gonna go over to some guy who’s flailing in the water. This guy’s doing it, but he needs a little extra push. To realize that the ocean is his friend.” -The turtles. 
    • “All my cynicism is gone. I’m breathing once an hour.” -JR
  • Dolphins off the coast of Haifa. 
  • “New dolphin phone, who dis?” -MM